To Divorce or Not to Divorce ~ Cross reference of Matthew 5:31 to Deuteronomy 24:1

 

Jesus in this passage is teaching about how a man should not divorce his wife. While I agree that G-d intended for a man to have one wife and be happy and prosper, does this broken world have such ideal relationships?

A married couple who are struggling to keep things together due to basic [emphasis added] compatibility issues, can either call it quits ensuring that they and their children have another chance to find a happy life or drag along and live a life of hell everyday.

Solomon rightly said in Proverbs 19:14 Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife [*husband] is from the Lord. Not all are fortunate and that is why G-d gave the option for divorce in the Torah.

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All Greek Text references are from NIV and Tanakh references are from Chabad.

This post is not intended to offend anyone's faith but for those people who are Seeking the truth of THE ONE TRUE G-D of the universe to who we owe all our love, gratitude & devotion.

My encouragement to you is that you read the whole chapter of Tanakh that the Greek text quotes so you get the context and understand what G-d actually said.

G-d Bless and Seek THE Truth.

Matthew 5:31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’[f] 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Matthew 19:3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[b]? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Deuteronomy 24:1 When a man takes a wife and is intimate with her, and it happens that she does not find favor in his eyes because he discovers in her an unseemly [moral] matter, and he writes for her a bill of divorce and places it into her hand, and sends her away from his house,

Let us look at some points about unhappy marriages and see if what Jesus taught about divorce is practical in this age or even during the time when G-d felt the need to give us this teaching. 

1. The home where a husband and wife cannot tolerate each for issues they have with key values is a hell not only for themselves but also the children.
2. Their own health is at risk and they do not do justice to give the children a happy, loving and caring home to grow up in.
3. In extreme cases where there is physical abuse, they injure their bodies and have to live with these impediments the rest of their lives.  
4. Unrest between a wife and husband involve issues that are deep rooted in their psyche and it is not so easy for them to change so the marriage can come back on track.
5. In some cultures unhappy marriages continue till one of them dies because one or both adjust and live within boundaries they create for the sake of their children. In some cultures couples quickly break away to ensure they find someone who is compatible with them so they can be happy.

So based on the above points was Jesus teaching right that couples should never get divorced and should continuing living a miserable life?

On the other hand if you read the Torah you will see that the all knowing G-d addressed marriage and divorce within a framework that allows one be in a happy marriage the way G-d intended it. He did this by

1. Giving couples the option to get out of a unhappy marriage [divorce]
2. Giving guidelines to say when a marriage vow can be broken
3. Giving guidelines to ensure that the separated couple have means to continue their life apart.

I will call out some verses from Torah below so you can see what kind of guidelines G-d gave keeping the above 3 points in consideration. It is for you to decide if what G-d makes sense or what Jesus taught makes sense.

Deuteronomy 22:13 If a man takes a wife, is intimate with her and despises her, 14 and he makes libelous charges against her and gives her a bad name, saying, "I took this woman, and when I came to her, I did not find any evidence of virginity for her." 15 Then the girl's father and her mother shall obtain evidence of the girl's virginity, and take it out to the elders of the city, to the gate. 16 And the girl's father shall say to the elders, "I gave my daughter to this man as a wife, and he despised her; 17 And behold, he made libelous charges, saying, 'I did not find evidence of your daughter's virginity.' But this is the evidence of my daughter's virginity!' And they shall spread the garment before the elders of the city. 18 Then, the elders of that city shall take the man and chasten him. 19 And they shall fine him one hundred [shekels of] silver because he defamed a virgin of Israel, and he should give it to the girl's father. And she shall be his wife; he shall not send her away all the days of his life. 20 But if this matter was true: [indeed,] no evidence of the girl's virginity was found. 21 they shall take the girl out to the entrance of her father's house, and the men of her city shall pelt her with stones, and she shall die, for she did a disgraceful thing in Israel, to commit adultery [in] her father's house. So shall you clear away the evil from among you.

Deuteronomy 22:25 But if a man finds the betrothed girl in the field, and the man overpowers her and lies with her, then only the man who lay with her shall die. 26 Whereas to the girl, you shall do nothing the girl did not commit a sin deserving of death, for just as a man rises up against his fellow and murders him, so is this case.

In the below passage a man and virgin have sexual intercourse and when they are caught, the man is fined and he cannot divorce her as long as he lives. Here I see G-d saying that sexual intimacy outside marriage is not OK.

Deuteronomy 22:28 If a man finds a virgin girl who was not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, 29 the man who lay with her shall give fifty [shekels of] silver to the girl's father, and she shall become his wife, because he violated her. He shall not send her away all the days of his life.